52 days until the end of the world (as I know it)

Full Fat Nugget

In 52 days (give or take a few, the date hasn’t exactly been finalised yet), my world will be turned upside down. Forever. Gone will be the weekend lie ins and the freedom to go out for dinner whenever I want. The room I’ve claimed as my “office” will be stripped from me. Our household income will drop by 50%, and our outgoings will increase. I’ll be suddenly catapulted from my relatively comfortable and carefree world into one of tortuous sleep deprivation, ear piercing wailing and more bodily fluids than I care to think about. That’s right, in 52 days I’ll become a dad.

On or around September 6th we’ll welcome the little dude or dudette, going by the code name of nugget for now, into the world. It’s a date that is rapidly approaching and bringing with it a fresh perspective on life. Already I feel an entirely new sense of responsibility. I can feel the burden (which is not entirely unpleasant) of supporting my family resting firmly on my shoulders. I can feel the sense of duty I now have to bring up the little nugget to understand the world around them and to find, or create, their place in it.

There is a lot to think about, a lot to plan, and a lot to do. There are so many thoughts and possibilities floating around in my mind. There are so many unknowns.

I’m finding it quite surprising that the new and changing set of responsibilities I am discovering don’t really phase me too much. Perhaps that’s because they haven’t fully arrived yet. Only time (and the sleep deprivation and bodily fluids mentioned above) will tell. No, that’s not what’s on my mind. The thoughts that I keep coming back to are mainly around work – more specifically, the work that I call my job.

Work is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and in fact is one of the reasons I started this blog. But when I think about nugget, and how my work fits in with life after they arrive, things are different. I feel a new sense of urgency. Something has to change.

In my current job, I am most definitely in my comfort zone. I turn up, do my thing, and get paid. Nice. Simple. Easy. It’s interesting and I enjoy a lot of what I do, but it doesn’t inspire me or make me come alive. I’m good at my job, but I’m not at my best. The work I currently get paid to do is not work that really matters to me – it’s not meaningful. It also doesn’t fit with how I want to live my life.

I don’t want to invest in working like this any more.

Now you may be thinking that I should just pipe down and be thankful I have a job at all. After all, work isn’t meaningful for the vast majority of people in the world, so what makes me so special? Perhaps you’re one of the people who’d like to tell me that “there’s a reason it’s called work” or “that’s why they pay you for it”.

Well. I don’t believe it has to be this way. There is nothing special about me in this pursuit – I believe that meaningful work is available to anyone who has the guts to choose it.

When nugget arrives I want them to watch me, and every day learn a little bit more about the world. I want them to see that permission and responsibility are ready and waiting to be taken, not given. I want them to know that they can dent the world, if they want to. I want them to know that their best self is their true self.

I appreciate that a lot of these hopes will be lost on the nugget for a few years. Perhaps these lofty goals can wait until we’ve mastered the art of sleeping through the night and not vomiting on dad. But, I know that I do not live out these aspirations at the moment – not as fully as I’d like. I also know that there is no time like the present to get started on these goals for myself. There will never be a perfect time. It will never feel quite right.

Perhaps it’s a little ambitious of me to tackle the work thing at the same time as having a baby (and selling a house, and moving to a new city hundreds of miles away, leaving friends and family behind – more on this bombshell soon…), but why not? I have nothing to lose (well, actually that’s not true, but I like to tell myself it’ll all be OK!). So before the end of this year, 2012, I will begin working on my terms. I will pursue a work life in which I come alive, instead of a work life which is about security and paying the bills. This is my pledge to abandon half arsed, no-added-sugar, comfortable mediocrity.

This is my pledge to pursue full fat living.

I know that I can’t do this on my own. I need people around me to keep poking me, making sure I’m heading in the right direction. So, I’m using the full fat newsletter as a way to keep everyone up to date with my plans, successes and failures. I don’t just send out the same content as appears on this site – it’s extra and new. All the juicy bits go into the emails…

I’d love your support in this. You can sign up here.

I really appreciate it.


2 Comment(s)

  1. March 19, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    “Now you may be thinking that I should just pipe down and be thankful I have a job at all”

    I hate this attitude. I think counting your blessings is important and I think recognising how much some people DON’T have is important. But holding yourself back from a dream or calling because some people don’t have or can’t get jobs is like forcing food down after you’re full because there are starving children in Africa. The two aren’t meaningfully connected and any assertion that they are, in a way which you can personally affect, is self-righteousness.

    Some people need freedom over thier own lives to be the best they can be and to those people a luxury cage is still a cage. You want to show your son that it’s not worth bothering with the cage in the first place and I think that’s amazing.

    Changing your career, becoming a dad, selling a home AND moving. You’re way braver than I am…and you know what? Courage counts for A LOT. Well I think anyway..

    Anyway Im starting to ramble..better finish up now ;D

    ~ K

    • March 26, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      Thanks Kally,

      There are a lot of funny ideas out there about work, and a lot of people who assume work is something everyone should endure just because that’s their perspective. I think you’re right – thanks for the encouragement :)

Leave a Reply

About Full Fat Living

Share my story. Updates to your inbox.

Follow me on twitter