My Confession



Confession



There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. I am a serial killer. A serial blog killer that is (you didn’t think I meant anything else, did you?). It all started a couple of years ago for me, ready with big ideas and bigger dreams. I’d glimpsed a world of self expression, I’d seen others find fame and fortune and I wanted some of it.

So, I started a little blog over at tumblr called Lens for Life. Despite it’s title, it had nothing to do with photography. That poor little blog with its tales of basic psychology and ideas around how we all experience and perceive the world (that’s where the lens comes in). It hardly got off the ground before I ran out of inspiration and motivation and let it fall by the wayside.

Then there was Rethinkers, my blog of curated content offering ideas to change the world. That didn’t last long either.

I won’t bring back the memories of the other blogs I’ve laid to rest over the last couple of years – I think you get the point. My latest attempt, this very site you’re visiting now, has been dangerously teetering on the edge for a while and its time to make a decision.

Right from the off Full Fat Living was supposed to be about experiencing life to the full, recognising that life is good and exploring ideas for living more of it.

For the last few months, the words on these pages have hardly done that aspiration justice. History has a tendency to repeat itself, or so I’ve heard, but this time I’m not quite ready to let Full Fat Living go.

You see, the thing is that I hate failing (I’ll bet I’m not alone there). For the last few months, I’ve not given anywhere near enough attention to this site and I’ve missed target after target. The fear of failing has frozen me in my tracks. Not for the first time, I’ve been left paralysed and sapped of energy.

The problem is that I’m looking at this all wrong. I’ve started to see this site as a place for me to teach you and to share the best ways of doing things. But that’s missing the point. Full Fat Living doesn’t exist because I have unbeatable systems and solutions that I have to share with the world. No. Full Fat Living is here to tell a story. It’s here to capture my journey. If things go horribly wrong, that’s OK. I don’t have to get this right all the time. Sometimes things get tough. Sometime I mess up. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way I’d like them to.

The reality is though, that it’s those moments that are the most formative. The screw ups and the knock backs are the times when real progress can be made.

So, take this post as a renewing of my vows. A renewal of my pursuit of Full Fat Living.

Let’s crack on.

Photo Credit: n0t r34lly

4 Comment(s)

  1. August 8, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    Here I go commenting again!

    Your story is nearly identical to mine. Over the years I’ve started half a dozen or more blogs on various things and all of them turned into nothing.
    Then recently, just like you, I realized that I kept thinking my blogs were there to teach the world something new when in fact, I had nothing to tell except my journey through life.

    So that is all that I am doing now. I’m waking up every morning and telling a new part of my story. And that’s what you’ve got to do. Wake up earlier than usual, every single day, and force yourself to write something.

    It gets easier – with practice. Good luck and keep writing!

  2. October 3, 2013 at 10:19 am

    hi Chris,
    the truth is things always get tough and most of the time failure is inevitable. we can always start again, but same thing will happen again and again if don’t seek the roots of our problems. in my case it was fear of success. the “What Now?” after completing a quest, and fear of not getting what I want in life after I finished the biggest challenges. So I stopped before seeing the results of my labor.
    finding the real drive and stop flags in life’s successes and failures(or happiness and disappointments) is the most important task to those who seek a fulfilling and happy life.
    I hope you find what really drives you forward and what stops you from reaching your goals.
    best of luck in your journey

  3. October 13, 2013 at 12:54 am

    Hi Chris, I totally agree with you when you say “The screw ups and the knock backs are the times when real progress can be made.” I have also started a blog last year but found many a times, thinking ‘how should I write that will resonate with a big audience and will be a enormously helpful post”? The fear of creating anything less than epic kept me away from creating all together and YES that is a big trap. Now I realised our stories have enormous power and we can serve the world if we are just willing to share our story with all honesty. Lets just start to show up and owing our story.

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